Forgot to make the daily picture. So I went back to the location to make this photo above. What a relieve, fulfilling my own expectations. Nobody cares if I would cheat, nobody would notice if I make two pictures tomorrow, or use an old one. Was it not that I really want this performance to be a ritualistic one, I might not take the extra effort.
Why must it be a ritual? It's theatre isn't it? Fake is totally okay, as long as we bite it... right?
People sometimes speak about thin lines: "there is a thin line between loving and hating my parents." For me there is a thin line between actions that (during a performance) feel realistic and necessary, and actions that feel theatrical and unnecessary. And if I imagine this line then it doesn't get thinner. Instead, it moves more towards the realistic side. Meaning that the unnecessary side gains more space, meaning that more and more things that I could do during a performance feel unnecessary, and therefor it seems harder and harder to find the things that really matter (to me).
To get to do the things I really want to do, I have to say no to 99% of the ideas that pop up in my head. So I kept balancing stones today. Apparently I was so busy with it.. I even forgot to make my daily picture. First I thought: hell no godverdomme nou moet ik terugfietsen. Now I'm thinking: well, at least it gave content to write my daily blog.
Unusual things today:
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I heard the sound of broken glass being collected, a very familiar sound. Then I saw a man on top of the hill picking up the pieces of a mirror that mystically broke. The man disappeared, leaving the trash in the sand. He didn't wave back.
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First time that a stone roll from the sand hill; it gave a beautiful pattern in the sand. To think that I am trying to protect the terrific organic feminine shapes of 'my' mountain.. insane.
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